Living Life as Jayden's Mommy….

So Saturday I cried. I guess it was for a whole 10 minutes after I told myself I would not cry. But the pressure of life started weighing in… I am about to have a baby, I don’t have a secured position in Mobile, I don’t really have a babysitter here or there, and then there is the desire for a home there and that has still not come to pass and here lately I have not seen any great contenders. On top of all that, I feel like I am the only one that is truly concerned about it. Yes, I am trusting that the Lord will take care of it all but it still makes me antsy not to know what is in store. So, I cried… I stopped because my Mom came in to check on me. I think she knew I was crying but I stopped and tried to hide it anyway. She told me she is praying that I get the online virtual school job so that I can stay home with Jayden and I am sooo not against that. However, I put in an interest letter for Baldwin County Schools and a complete application with everything in my packet will be mailed tomorrow morning 1st thing. As soon as I get my official transcripts and reference letters then I will send it all off for Baldwin County.

I missed church today because I was feeling not so great. But in the meantime I did take the time to organize everything for my applications in AL. It made me feel accomplished! I also e-mailed a lady in Human Resources for Mobile County. Last but not least, I am done with all of my essays so I can post all of my final grades tomorrow minus my Psych class. I think I am going to show them a movie that one of my other classes watched just to give them some exposure.

OK Desperate Housewives finale is on… Grey’s Anatomy was fantastic so I am not going to miss this one either!

That is all, there isn’t anymore….

I have sooo much grading to do… why did I wait until the end to do it? Well it was strategic, I had to cover so much info before I assigned it. I did get the career essays graded for Economics and now I have some Govt. essays to grade. It will be fairly easy to grade those if I can just sit long enough to actually do it! I also have tax papers to grade from last week but I only have 1 class remaining, thank the Lord!

I have to give finals this week and another dr. appt. this Friday. I will be checked for dilation this week since my doc should be back… not looking forward to that at all. Anyways, I figure if I hold out until May 28th then I can take off the rest of the year and still get paid if I had to. I am going to get a double check on my due date because I found some paperwork and it stated my expected due date according to measurements was June 7th which is a Sunday. He has been doing somersaltsin my belly for the last hour and I am not sure what is up with that but I thought he might be hungry so I ate… but that didn’t settle it… perhaps he is ready to hear my voice again.. who knows.. I think I am ready to meet him and stop being preggo for about 3 years until we can welcome him a little sister, Ashlynne. Yes, I am bound and determined to have a girl!

Well I had another shower at church today. It involved everyone dropping off gifts and cards, lol. I also found out that University of Phoenix is starting an online high school so… maybe I can look into getting into that. I heard a word at 7 a.m. well 6:30 I think, it was Creflo Dollar. Funny, he was talking about worry and how that was not of God. I recall the scripture marked in my Bible that talks about how we should not worry because God provides for the animals so of course he will provide for me. So I am continuing to pray and believe that I will get a position that is best for my family.

Ok, that is all there isn’t anymore…

Conversation with guidance counselor (she gives good guidance to the adults and students!)

Me: My husband said he likes me like this… and then I frown

Guidance Counselor: Why?

Me: I don’t know.. we can’t do anything (you know be intimate and all) … and I can’t do anything for myself either and I am tired of it.

Guidance Counselor: Well, I don’t know about you but I am ready to have this over with

Me: Me too and I hate to break it to hubby but I am not going to be pregnant all the time!

Just reflecting I guess I should be happy to still be attractive while I am huge but I am not… I miss my old shape and being able to bend over and eat to live and sleep on my tummy! Hubby has decided he wants an orchestra (in children) and I told him that was cool- he can just pay for one. I have decided (unlike Mrs. T and Smidgen) that I am willing to go for 3 of my own and then we still have Katie. She wants a sister and I want her to have one. So hopefully after Jayden we will have our Ashlynne and then this Mommy will be done. But if not and we have another son, we might have a ______ (no name but it has to end in the “n” sound and have a “y” in it.) But we are leaving it in God’s hands.

OK so now so many people all over are in job limbo. It is a HORRIBLE feeling. I feel blessed to have a job where I am. The people I work with (minus a couple) are pretty fantastic! But I know that God is going to work out the situation for me and hubby to raise Jayden together.

That is all… there isn’t anymore.

Ok so it is late and I will make this short and sweet. Today was a rough day for me at work. The summary- you try to be nice to students and parents and allow for extra activities and it is unappreciated… so now what? You stop being nice and just be mean!

Anyways, I talked to my sister and she was sweet. I know she didn’t really care because her situation is completely different but she listened and stood up for me as did all of my friends that I yacked to this afternoon, Mrs. T, my cousin and next door neighbor at work, and my smidgen and even hubby! Nevertheless she is having her own issues with her boss. I guess the boss just doesn’t like her. It is weird I don’t get why everyone loves my little sis but they do. And this lady is out to get her… so… when we talked she told me how excited she was about a new position she is applying for. She said that God has it set up. She wanted to leave her 1st job, got turned down for several positions in that organization and finally moved to this one- she hates it! She is now wanting to move to another one and it turns out her one friend at her current job has moved to this new place and God has set it up so that she is meeting all of these people in power over there. She is applying for a job and the guy that currently has it is from our hometown!!! How strange is that??? It is totally awesome because she has met her new bosses and some of her coworkers and is making sure they get that name/face recognition downpat. I told her that God was awesome.

He has plans for all of us. He planned for her to be in this new place and she wanted to move to her current job so bad that he allowed it… only to let her know that it was not for her. But he had to make her see and understand that it was not about her. Plus he had to let her get mad so she would apply elsewhere. Now he is teaching us both patience and gratefulness…. and appreciation… so… I am now praying for me and my little sister. I have no doubt she will get it though. It all comes to her… it just does!

Ok so that is my thing… God has it under control and in all of the mess there is purpose period.

I have a feeling that my life will be drastically different in a few years (3). I will have a baby, a nice home, may or may not have a job but I am almost positive that money will not be an issue and I will be in my Tahoe leading up to my Escalade (that was for hubby). It will be. Then I will be blogging about the goodness of God some more and thinking back to what had to be gone through to get there… Be encouraged all….

That is all, there isn’t anymore ———— from the Grinch that Stole Christmas

I was really disturbed today to see a pic of what my baby is supposed to look like in the womb. It literally looked like limbs were growing from the head or something. It was sooo sad! I wanted to go in and spread the baby out just because I do not like being cooped up.

Work has been ok. I don’t have duty so I don’t have to fix an extra lunch. I am still working on my application packet to Mobile, AL. I am at the point now if ANYONE out there in blogger land knows anything about getting in with that district, please shoot me an e-mail! I really need a position there. My cousin contacted a friend who is going to talk with his principal but I am just praying that it all works out and that I land a great position!

Well I find out Thursday if we are buying pink or blue, so tuned. I will share it in the post for that evening or the next day depending on how I am feeling…

I have been avoiding naps but dreaming an awful lot so unfortunately my sleep has not been good. But, I have a ton of essays to grade. My Economics classes completed career essays and my Am. Govt classes wrote persuasive essays on controversial topics. I have been pleasantly surprised that a few have been excellent!

I am more agitated now than ever. After 5th period, I just want my kids to come in and sit down and do some work. But I also feel I am there to teach so that is what I will do. I am starting new classes tomorrow so the homework begins again with a fresh class calendar. It really does help to be organized and cross your t’s when teaching. So many excuses have been eliminated due to my class calendar. It just makes life easy.

Hubby is working on a CD project so as soon as it is done I will share the logistics. I am thinking if he sells the single for $3 and all my friends and maybe some readers buy it we will break even and maybe be able to make some extra money. I am excited about it. It woud be great to have the money so that he could go back to school full time and complete his CD while I worked part- time or something… oh well a girl can look forward to retirement!

Yes, I am thankful this season for my husband, parents, family, job, food, etc… However, I still just want to crawl in a hole and sleep… actually I would like to hibernate for the winter. During this hibernation- I would not have to eat or go to the bathroom- ever until Spring! Ok that is my blurb. Smidgen understands all about cutting oneself off from society- she is a pro!!! I have NEVER known anyone that can just disappear 6 months! But she has managed. lol…

Well it is very disturbing that 2 of my 10th grade students- one in my homeroom and one in my Psych class have disappeared. I am guessing they ran away from home. I hate it for them. To think that life at home is soooo bad that they want to run away. I had a couple of friends leave their homes and they just went to friend’s houses to stay for a few days before eventually moving back but as far as high school- we all pretty much just dealt with the parentals. I do hope that my child and I have the understanding that my parents had… I was “supposed” to do certain things and in return I got what I wanted. I got good grades, scholarships, and called in at curfews (I NEVER made curfew after age 16- it was a suggestion- I was a responsible kid!) In return, I got money, allowance, freedom, & a car. At 16, I was living the life let me tell you… okay well through age 21 I was… lol… FSU was a time for school, friends, and partying. Oh those were the days.

Ok so life is okay now just a little more stressful… I am eagerly awaiting the sex of the baby. I am just going to call it a girl still since the people at work were offended that I called it an “it”. Ugh!!!

This is the last week of work and next week is Christmas… whoooohoooo!!!!!

 Anniversary Video- Tony Toni Tone

 Yes, today is my 6 month anniversary. My wonderful hubby said that I had knocked 6 months off of his life. I retorted that it felt like years! lol… but I guess it could be worse. Now that I am pregnant I think it will be a while before I am able to get a new job so we are still in transition but at least I am safe and we are able to save. We are still praying that things get better next school year. Schools are dropping teachers but I do hope I gt picked up and am able to stay on. I did apply for some virtual teaching… and my cousin is contacting someone. That would be great because I can do that from home… anyways please keep me in your prayers- it is more money too! I just LOVE the idea of working from home in my pajamas and being at home all day… ahhhh!

Ok not so much but… I played catch up on Friday with make up wok and student’s grades so… Monday and Tuesday I will be teaching the last 3 sections to my darlings in preparation for final exams.  I am giving exams early because I know that students will not do so well if I wait to test them after Christmas… so I am going to get it out of the way now. I also start lunch duty this week- horrible. That is my #1 reason to get out of teaching. I am wondering if I can get a dr. note to get out of it since it is a hazard. Hmmmmm. Anyways I have my dr. appt on Friday and I am thinking I will complete my Christmas shopping then… I do hope so.

On to Christmas shopping- I had ordered the majority of my stuff online and then yesterday we went to Vanity Fair. There, I was able to complete my Christmas shopping for the men in my life. And $130 later I am only lacking for my Papa because my sister did not like the shirt I picked to go with the tie she picked out. Yes, it was my present to him and she is suppose to look for something else. So… as another tradition, Sis and I sat down and wrapped presents. I was sooo glad to have bags this year although Mom felt sorry for me and cut out some paper to ease my wrapping anxiety. Soooo sweet. She wrapped for all THREE of her godchildren and then parents and grandparents.

So, here I will make my list to check twice since all of these people have not been naughty, but nice! (I am a poet!)

Sister- 2 gifts

Mom- 2 gifts

Dad- 2 gifts

Hubby- Lots of gifts (8 gifts)

Grandma- 1 gift

Papa- Sis is getting the gift

Mother in Law- 3 gifts

Aunt in Law- 2 gifts

Godmother in Law- 2 gifts

Mrs. T at work- 2 gifts

It feels soooo good to be done.

Ok so here is my wishlist:

1. The Hair Instyler ($120- $14 trial period)

2. Books- The Secret, What to Know About Pregnancy, & Pleasure

3. Vacuum Cleaner

4. Motherhood clothes

5. Cash

Ok so that is simple… now I need to forward this to hubby. Ok well that is my update. I do wish all a Merry Christmas. For all of you that read and want me to read your blog leave me a message! I am more than happy to read and comment. And.. for all of you that don’t have a blog I really encourage you to get one! It is a great release. Keep blogging!

Yesterday I officially started my 6th year of teaching. Although many students, teachers, administrators, staff, and even parents were excited- I was not. It was hard to leave my hubby and return to my small town and my old job. I really thought I would be living a new life by now- NOT IN TRANSITION. My friend that wanted the job in London got her job. This was fantastic news that she received after she stopped worrying about it and quoting scriptures to me. My other friend who was a teacher is still looking but I feel that she is going to find something even better than teaching or she will be moved to a new area where the opportunities will be overflowing.

Back to me… yes I am still waiting on the position at the university. I was offered an interview at another university but the pay decrease would be just too significant and my hubby said no it was not worth it so… I am commuting. I miss him, my wii, and my new wii fit. It is just so unfair that I have a new home and have to pay bills there and buy groceries and I only get to enjoy it every other week. Gas is killing us but I can’t make that drive every week because it is just too much so on his days off every other week, he will bring the wii, the games, and his instruments, and his computer to chill here while I go to work.

I know God is coming through. My hubby dreamed that I got a call or I was told I would be called on  Tuesday. We still believe. I heard about “prayer notes” to the Lord so I am going to do those too. I have let go but just want him to provide me with something there and if that means a pay cut then I want him to lead me that way. The job I did interview for finally closed and they are going to start interviews for the lower paying jobs in the upcoming weeks I hope.

Sigh… okay well I need to get ready for day 2. I am not stressed, classes are small, and it could be much worse. I am thankful for my job and the fact that we are not having money problems. The distance is a major change for me. I got very used to being with hubby daily. Unfortunately that has disappeared… ugh. Okay enough sobbing for one night.

Work… hmmm… yes it is a blessing to have a job. But, is it the best idea to have a job away from your husband??? I don’t think so… Advice for anyone in this situation: purchase a wii and some fun games, get your hubby some male friends, call frequently, get him on a schedule, pray, and visit home as often as possible.

I am still waiting on a job in Mobile. I have not blogged this week because I was still antsy/ minor depressed and it was just hard to even talk about it. I told my friends and hubby that I almost felt like a failure. Everyone was glad to see me at work but they know that I am happily married and want to be with my husband. Amazingly, everyone had the same concept- just move back to **** (our small little town). I was like are you crazy! I love my new home. Everything is within 20 minutes- movies, mall, eating places, theaters, etc… I really mean EVERYTHING!!! I am used to it too.

Well, I am grateful for my position. Other people have come up with options to solve their work-related issues. Unfortunately for me, not working is NOT an option. I don’t think we can afford it and it is not fair to my hubby to have to work double overtime because I want to stay at home. Granted, if we had children it would be different but since we do not I feel I need to do my part and work.

I am sure that God has not forgot about me. He will give me the desires of my heart and he has never failed me yet. I have an ere of expectancy so I expect the institution of my choice to call very soon. Although they said interviews would occur this week, I have not yet received a call so I hope they are still holding off and have not made contact yet since I was not contacted! I know that the position is my dream job and it is just a matter of time before I get it. It is amazing how everything falls into place. My dream guy I met online and then talked forever, got engaged, and married and now the same city in which he lives- has my dream job. How perfect is that????

*Sigh* What can I say? Some things are just meant to be!!! I am still waiting another 2 weeks for my results on the state exam. I explained the test to my coworkers and they did look at me strange when I told them about the writing and listening portion. I didn’t think a school district could discriminate against someone just because they are hard of hearing but perhaps that is not the case.

Ok so I am writing a short entry tonight. I am still in the waiting mode. I am being patient though! God is coming. His time is soooo not my time but he will be on time and that is what counts. I am excited to head “home” tomorow to return to some normalcy for the weekend. It really sucks that my husband has to work though. And our schedules are so different! I acutally had to drink coffee at 5:30 p.m. because I was falling asleep! It was crazy!!!! But I am headed home after work. I hope to get a call tomorrow and if not then next week would be great too. I get paid next week and plan to treat myself so I am excited.