Living Life as Jayden's Mommy….

Well my best friend at work perhaps ex best friend now, lol… just kidding. Anyways she dragged me to the store- actually the Dollar Store and even asked the lady for me to give a preggar test. So… I took the test home and instead of reading of course I got verbal instructions instead.. so I peed in a cup (yes, I threw the cup away afterwards) anyways… of course you have to put some dabs of urine on the tester and then you are suppose to wait.

Unfortunately, there was not a long wait time for my prayer to go through as the “control” bar lit up automatically and it took a minute for the regular bar to light up. It was crazy! I thought I was going to cry, scream, yell, pass out, etc. But I did not do anything. My bf (maybe ex) was happy as can be and said she was positive that was what it should look like because she had taken quite a few and it did not look the same.

Gosh, it seems like  yesterday I traveled to a friend’s home and consoled her once she found out that she was a “preggar”. So, the test was positive. I am not ready to talk about it. I don’t want the known world to know. Just close friends and family members = ha ha those that have access to the blog. I do know that those of you that I talked to earlier today by phone or e-mail- I am NOT Kidding about diapers and stuff!!!! Be on the lookout and save your money!

Ok so being the good friend that she is bf from wok drove me to CVS (down the street) I honestly think she was afraid to leave me alone. I was glad because I did not want to be alone either. But anyways Mrs. T took and found me some good horse pill vitamins and even offered to get me some apple sauce. I assured her that I had some. But I got some pills at a discount (cuz she let me use her card) and now I am ready to start this process. Yes, Jesus will be holding my hand ALL the way through it. Sigh…

So as Mrs. T is one insistent lady, she also took the liberty of making me a doctor appt with 2 ladies that she liked very much. I was happy to find out one was a black female doctor. I have nothing against males or anything but I thoroughly enjoy looking at and talking to someone that can relate to me. So yet another sigh there. I also found out that nothing major would occur for this visit as I was just going to be educated. So no blood or tears- whoooohoooo! In 2 weeks though I will have to go through with it. I can’t believe all this. It is happening so fast and yes, I will admit that I am scared to death! I am not afraid to have a child and raise it. I am scared of the process. I think I was really hoping that one day I would just have a baby in my arms that was biologically mine and I slept through the 9 months leading up to it. Ok a little off the beaten path I know but still. Sigh. Ok Enough blogging for now about this….

Please pray that I am better. I feel sick and hurt/ ache and I am still working. Not a good combo. Plus only you all are aware of my little issue so PLEASE don’t share- I don’t want the whole town to know until I am READY for them to know. But with all due respect, I felt that you all would or have shared your moments with me and it was only right that I do the same.

Well this morning, I got it up bright and early to go take another “teacher” test. It was not really hard though. Actually the reading part was a joke when you think about all the reading requirements there are on the ACT, or the test that high school students must pass to graduate. The math was tough but it was mainly the geometry that kicked my butt. I have not had it in a while (yeah- 10th grade-over 10 years ago!!!!) and then when I was in it I did not understand anything and had about 5 friends on speed dial that got me through the class. Then there was a writing section- silly me, I thought I was going to have to write an essay persuading or informing something of someone. Nope! I had to listen to information- take notes on it and then write it up as an informative for the audience described. It was crazy! My hand was hurting soooo freakin’ bad. I type all my stuff as most people do in 2008. Anyways, that was my morning. Now I get to wait about 2 weeks for the results. As for the Praxis II exam, I am awaiting those results as well- only 3 more to go. I would hate to have to retake it but it is cool if I do.

Sigh, well after all that I should have nothing to do today- my brain is tired… did I mention I forgot my dang calculator for the math part of the test!!! Ugh! I am motivated to go to work, yeah I was very unmotivated ysterday. So… I went shopping- well got a new toy anyway. I bought a WIi Fit. I was tired of waiting for one so I just paid a little over what I would for the convenience of having it sent to me in 1 week. Mind you I won’t be here when it comes but it does give me something to do on the weekend until my job comes through.

I suppose I am okay with doing almost anything in Mobile at this point especially if it pays decent and I can afford to live comfy and get some stuff in the studio going with hubby. As soon as he gets stuff out there – I am the business manager/ accountant and yes that is 2 separate positions that will require full salaries. LOL… Oh wouldn’t that be the life. I could take off whenever especially when we have kids and just be free from all major worries. Yeah right- what can I say- I have a dominant personality and I like to be in control and when I am not- I have problems dealing. I tend to relax when I am away but not so much at home. So you know what that means… “vacation in a remote location equals my true relaxation”.

Okay well that is all for now- I am excited about being done with tests right now and my wii fit should have shipped this morning! I have 3 more days of summer vacation and i am going to soak it up and do nothing- maybe 1 meal a day and washing dishes but pretty much that is all. I think I might shop a little for back to school but the mall is so crowded.. ugh… might go Monday with hubby or Sunday after the 7:45 AM service. It is sooooo hard to get up that early but the messages are so good and make it totally worth it. Plus, it is something that we can do together and talk about. We always leave at 9:30 and go home- and usually get some more sleep too but that is cool- it is a low key day and doable. I suppose this is the last weekend for a little bit that will be that normal. I am back to C-town Tuesday so hubby will be all alone. Ugh…. at least I have a job. I will stop with that. I am grateful and my situation could be much worse.