Living Life as Jayden's Mommy….

I am so impersonal… I know… nevertheless here is what it read:

“I am 1 cm dilated, 6 cm until an epidural and 10 cm until I can push. I am at home and still working.”

I thought that was short, sweet, to the point and cleared up confusion! Boy, was I wrong… The next several phone calls were “What???” “Are you in the hospital?” I answered a couple of calls before falling asleep at 9 p.m. but calmly explained that I was dilated and sent home.

So… how do I know I am dilated? I would be thrilled to share that this special machine was pressed against my tummy and it showed them but that was not the case. Unfortunately the dreaded finger had to check.. yes it was one instead of two because I am a complete and total wuss. I am soooo much of a wuss that my doctor told her ARNP that I may or may not allow her to check me and that was okay. I laughed when she told me that. But the ARNP was freaking fantastic! She was slow and moved as I told her it was ok. She told me I was doing good and she could feel the baby’s head and then explained that they would be checking me in the hospital and may not be as patient but that I was doing great and just needed to relax some. I HAVE to get her a thank you card because she really was awesome. So… after I was sooo violated, my child would NOT stop moving. I was like “Dang!” But I figure I would help the dilation some by shopping… he he… ok that was an excuse. But my leg hurt all day long- I am talking 24 dang hours. I don’t know if Jayden is on a nerve or what but I was thinking wheelchair or just cut the durn thing off!

Anyways so Mom and I (oh surely you did not think I went to the doc alone! Duh! I am too far along to do much of anything alone… ok so that is not the total reason Mom went… lol.. I have not been to an appt alone… Mom, hubby, sis- someone has gone and to put it bluntly I liked it that way- I need support and when my Ashlynne has a baby- yes I plan on having an Ashlynne in a few years- then I too will support her!) (back to the story now…) went to eat at Olive Garden- delayed Mother’s Day gift. She was really annoyed because I hadn’t warned her.. no, she was dressed fine but she would have rather starved herself 1st so that she could fully enjoy her meal! I cracked up laughing because that whole “love food” thing was sooooo not passed on to me. If I didn’t have to eat, I would not! Uh…. We went to the mall afterwards and I got a dress from Motherhood to wear home since I “don’t have any just cute after preggo dresses”… yeah I was full of excuses today… and I got some “pee pee tee pees”.. what are those you ask… HA! They are little caps you put on boys little wees wees so that they don’t spray you in the face. Mom said she would make me some more but I got 5 at $2 each. I don’t care though- you can’t put a price tag on missing that “spray in the face” action! Ok so we went to Victoria Secret to get some undies and they sold out of the old kind (the 10 for $25) AND no longer will be making the low rise bikini! I am soooo pissed off with that. I don’t like the regular hip huggers because there is too much material on the side… not to mention NOW there is spandex in the undies! Yeah no more 100% cotton.. hello! What the crap?? 100% cotton is healthy- ask your gyno! UGH!!!! So after that crap, we bought my sister’s birthday present and had our rings cleaned. She is a little stinker because she cleaned me out on this gift but I know she will appreciate it at her new home in July so it is worth it and she is such a good “Aunty” too so… Dad, Mom, Hubby, I, and Jayden will be giving her this gift on July 20th when she will be 24! LOL.. soooo old! I remember when I thought that was just downhill…. nope 25 is!

We went to Baby’s R’ Us after the mall and I thought I had died and gone to heaven. However, I was not too impressed with the few things I thought I needed. I did find out that my Mom used liquid formula (and they were poor!) so I told her I was going to use it too. But… you have to warm the dang stuff cuz it comes out of the fridge and that could be a pain at 2 a.m. so I may be using powder- quick poor mix and shake at room temperature or I might even breastfeed a little longer than a week and go for a  month. I guess I could pump too but who knows. I was going to get a monitor but honestly I don’t want him out of my sight the 1st 3 months so he will be in a bassinet in my room and then… we might move him to the other room but then again maybe not… I am not seeing him in the bed with us but definitely at arm’s reach. I am a 1st time Mom- so sue me!

Now at 4 a.m. I am dealing with indigestion still… oh yes, I have had it for 5 days.. I am thinking this child better have a head full of hair! I will be glad when I go back to normal- no morning sickness, a single pop tart, eat whatever, less bathroom breaks, etc.

So now for my hubby’s brilliant line of thinking… I told him that the doc wanted to discuss inducing me because today my leg was bothering me and I was not comfy. So after my next visit at 39 weeks, she will talk about me going in on Sunday and having the baby Monday, June 8th. I am okay with this I think. He is supposedly 6’11 and I think that is too big so.. get him out before he gets too much bigger! Hubby said “Well can you wait until Wednesday- when I am off?” I told him no because they only do surgery on Monday and she wants to guarantee that she gets to be with me over someone else. I am ok with this too as she understands me and my special needs. I think I will have to be in the hospital 3 days… so… he wants to come Sunday after work – 4 hours one way and then  leave Monday evening- 4 hours… work Tues and then come back- 4 hours- and stay with me through Thursday. I was like whatever… take vacation time or just take off and be done with it. You knew this would happen! Ugh.. men can be soooo dense sometimes. I will be upset if he is not there the whole time but I have a Mama and she will not make me stay alone so that will be fine too. I have it all planned out… (I am such a planner- yes I know- it makes me happy!)

Week 1- Grandma, me, and Jayden; Week 2- Sis, me, and Jayden; Week 3- Hubby, me, and Jayden…

Yep- they all have to get that leave time ready because they will be needing it. So… week 4 I will be at home with hubby still working from home and surely by then will have it down to a science- changing, feeding, sleeping, bottles, etc.

Well now that I have given the full update and am just tired of typing.. I will leave you all to a blessed day.

That is all… there isn’t anymore…

I say that because I am encouraged… listening to my favorite Christian Cd (even though it is a bootleg copy that I made… he he) I can honestly say that I know God has a plan. Song #1 says “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.” I believe that… and have seen it play out which is even more awesome. Then song #2 is Bebe and Cece (all you that listen to African American gospel know I am talking about the Winans- love them!) and it is old school but “Addicted Love” is the bomb and I can sing it all the way through….

Ok so I got an e-mail from my cuz today about a cute little story… I won’t post the story but essentially this was the caption at the end and I felt encouraged enough to share it with every one of my readers:

Philppians 4:13 — I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called
Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success.

Is that not just awesome?

Ok now for real talk… I am 29 weeks today.. I thought this day would come much later for some reason. I go to the doc again for a sugar check on Friday. I am very antsy about what will become of me… birth, working situation, living situation, etc. I did talk to my Mom and figured out that if we continue to live where we are (hubby and I) we could live on savings and him working and I could stay at home if that is what we want to do. I was soooo against it and as time marches on I am feeling it more. I feel I need a break from the classroom. Then again I am eager to spend the summer taking care of my little one as many mommies tell me that they were eager to head back to work so that they could get a break. I am also concerned about the birthing process. Now I have 2 fibroids and although the doc said he had plenty of room, I feel sorry for Jayden having to share me with them! (Spoken like a true Mommy). I think I am going to buy my stuff from Target next week- at least the travel system anyways. My mom is buying the bassinet thing I picked out and I think my sis is buying the bouncy seat thing or something. Then of course with 2 Godmommies that are extremely excited and a future Goddaddy- Jayden will be ready and met with love! Ok so I am nervous about birth… I pray that it lasts a little while, I get an epidural (sp?) and then have the baby naturally. I don’t want a C-section because I want to walk out of the hospital. I am open to having more children as this pregnancy has not been the easiest but not so bad that I don’t want to go through it again… *sigh* and next time we hope for an Ashlynne Nechele and then this Mommy will be done!

Well thanks for listening. I am antsy… I snap at students a lot and then of course the class chorus now is “She is pregnant!” And I always add, “yeah, I am pregnant!” It is almost a joke but they know I enjoy them it is just getting difficult. My emotions are up and down and I have to be careful who I talk to and when because I can’t really be there for them like I once was… in other words it is my turn to be selfish! Very seldom do I want to hear about anyone else’s issues… I want to say my stuff… may or may not want feedback and then I want to go to sleep. I have told hubby once or twice that I just want him to listen and don’t offer an opinion… he laughed in shock but listened as I reminded him that I am pregnant and need his support!

I am stopping now before I get too caught up. If you care to add a comment, please do… until next time America…lol…

That is all….. there isn’t anymore…

1. You think that just because my hubby plays gigs and is not able to come visit every week that our marriage is set for disaster, well bless your heart.

2. You think it is crazy that I write, call, and blog my one friend that seems to be allergic to the phone because I have not heard from her in 3 weeks and it is NOT totally out of the ordinary for her to disappear every now and then, well bless your heart.

3. You think it is wrong to tell people that I want gift cards for presents instead of tons and tons of diapers and wipes well bless your heart.

4. You don’t like my baby name even though you have had 3 sons and think you have found me a new name and can’t understand why I just don’t have much to say to you right now, well bless your heart.

5. You are jealous that my parents are taking care of me along with my hubby while I am pregnant, well bless your heart.

6. Your little sister does not take care of you and look out for you like mine even though we are not the closest sisters, well bless your heart.

7. I lose my job and all of a sudden all the freeloaders leave my home that they have lived in the past 7 -8 years and take their govt checks with them in my time of need and you think that is ok??? Well BLESS YOUR HEART!

I didn’t have much to go off about this week so I just did a few blasts… lol…

I got a leg cramp this morning upon getting out of the shower. It is horrible. My Mom even tried to knead it out and it is still there. I told her that it was under too much fat (yep, I have fat on my legs). Ok so now that you are all aware of that…

I am so glad I did not have to work or pull duty today- Hallelujah! I totally enjoy sitting home and keeping up with the news, banking, and bills. I think this will be a future career of mine right up there with Mom. Hmmm maybe I could keep kids with my own and charge $100 a week and keep 4 kids.. that would be cool. But then again I would actually have to keep the kids… maybe kids in pre-school but not babies. I want to just play and feed my own… ugh… I need a job in Mobile, Alabama. Perhaps someone will read this and get “Scrapper” a job! lol… Hey, stranger things have happened from the Internet!

Jayden is doing fine. I really like the name Jalen but there are just too doggone many. It is kind of fun looking at baby names and it is important to know the meaning. I am excited to have my Ashlynne one day though too. Ashlynne Nechele. It would be weird to find out that this is really a girl… it would also suck because I have bought boy stuff but I would welcome either… Jayden or Ashlynne – I mean how cute is that??? So we will have Kaitlyn, Jayden, and Ashlynne. Ok he was moving all last night while his Daddy was talking to me and today I guess since I am not talking a whole lot he has decided to sleep. Not much movement… ok. It is weird feeling him move, it is like butterflies/ gas or something and just feels different. I wonder if the kicking will hurt. I am eager to buy more clothes and have already looked on the Ralph Lauren site. I am not against hand me downs but I do want my child to have some things that are brand new and name brand too.

Mrs. T and I talked about formula, insurance, diapers, and daycare today! Yikes! All the stuff that will massively change your budget with a baby.

Ok Dr. Phil is on and my back is starting to ache and I need to do more laundry… the cycle never ends but I am feeling a nap today. I called Smidgen on the phone but there was no answer- guess she had to work- pity- ha, ha!!!!

Have a great President’s Day all!

For those of you that are unaware, smidgensquared and I are very good friends. However, since she has moved up to the cold Arctic Circle of America she has been allergic to the phone, go figure! So… on a whim Sunday morning I called. I was killing time before church and breakfast…. low and behold to no surprise there was no answer to the cell. I left a number and didn’t think much of it. Can you all believe that I actually received a call back 10 minutes later??? I almost fell out of the bed! Anyways, I caught her up on all my stuff since my last post which gave me a reason to remain in my bed and doing other stuff than to blog… not sure why I see it as such a chore sometimes… anyways that is what happened. She has some pics of snow on her blog so you should check it out. I am still working on preggo pics. The ones I took do not show much…. hmmm…. okay well I told smidgen I would blog to her. She will be 28 on January 14th of 2009 and I can’t wait!!!!

Well I am still queasy during the day when I do not eat a whole lot. Today, I did not gourge out on lunch. I did have some leftover Lasagnia though. It was mmm good! However it was really not enough to satisfy me so I was glad that there was some cake at work and one of the ladies offered me their biscuit. I did not have my milk today so I will have to double up tomorrow.

I did talk to my Mother-In-Law today. She is a sweety. She asked if I was on birth control and I told her no. She was like so what did you think was going to happen? I tried to explain to her that the time for someone to get pregnant was very much against you and that I just didn’t think it would happen. But now MIL and her sis (Aunt R) are both going to be grandmothers again in the next few months and they are ECSTATIC! I guess I am still in shock and still adjusting to the strange body feelings but I am getting more excited daily. Ok excited was an overstatement I am getting more comfy with the idea. I did tell MIL that I wanted a girl and her name would be Ashlynne. She was really excited and said it was pretty. She loved the idea of having a KatieLynn (as she says it- really it is Kaitlyn) and then a Little Ashlynne. That made me feel good.

I had a small dinner of leftovers and I knew it was not enough but I was hoping it would suffice. Unfortunately I had to write 3 progress reports for my tutees and then I had to watch a 50 minute DVD and take notes so that I can give a 40 question quiz on it tomorow in my Am. Govt. classes. I was talking to one student who was “spitting knowledge” to another student and it was just funny how he could use all the terminology correctly and have an informed Govt conversation. I am not trying to brag but he pays attention in class, gets my jokes, and really does get it. The DVD will just reiterate the Election Process to them but I think it will also help my students realize how much they have learned in the class as they know most of the info and it is a review with a little bit more in depth coverage in some areas.

Ms. SexyChocolate or whatever her surname is will be here tomorrow. She has nixed the shopping which is good so that is good to save money. We will be having pizza and some fish Sat. night! We are going to rent movies, laugh, and talk. *sigh* it should be relaxing.

Well that is all that is going on. I am still looking for cute newer homes to purchase and it is exciting. I go to the Dr on Wednesday so I am excited and nervous to see what they say. I may or may not blog this weekend but will resume soon enough. Thanks to all of my new faithful readers. Feel free to comment under a fake name and thanks to those of you that e-mail me too!

Goodnight!

Can you believe my “friends” read my blogs, get insight into my thoughts, and then have the AUDACITY to NOT comment? I mean honestly since you don’t call, e-mail, or attempt to reach me the very least you all could do is comment on my blog since I do supply you with the laughs. Once again, one of my friends that is allergic to the phone- this one is the non sarcastic one…. (Not you know!) we will call her sexychocolate… lol… sorry… but anyways she read the blog with me on yahoo talking to her and laughed at it. Of course I informed her of the new rules and of course- she came up with excuses as to why she was unable to comment right then. Excuse me if you have time to read you have time to comment. I now encourage everyone to blog. It is just fun. You have to make time but hey it is a release and it is more time efficient then e-mailing a whole gang of people… which Ms. London does so very well.

So now with the stock market still plunging and causing all of the other stock markets plunging all over the world, Connecticut making it legal for gay marriage, and Palin being found guilty on the charge that she abused her power… hmmm… what is the world coming to??? Lol… well we all need to turn to Jesus hands down. But, in the midst of all this garbage- we are all still in the position to receive blessings.

I do hope that my job blessing comes through. After talking to sexychocolate on her new position and her 1st disrespect run- in. I thought ok… perhaps me keeping my job is a blessing in itself. So I remain thankful but hopeful. I am awaiting results of a new job position request for an interview. I want to work at a college. I think all my friends know that. I am now ok with going back to school but I do not want children right now… even though I am getting older. I just feel like there is time to wait. I hope I don’t regret that one day.

Ok so what else is going on??? Hmmm… hubby has gigs out of the ying yang and loves it. We see each other during the week when he comes here and sometimes I go home. It is cool. I do hope I relocate soon. It is a strain.

Ahhhh... Mexico....

I really miss Mexico. Hubby says we should go back in Nov. but with trying to save for a home I am not sure that is smart. Plus with the economy so bad I don’t want to be too frivolous. Although I think it would be sooo cool to have a whole group of friends go together. Smidgen and I have talked about another needed vacation but with priorities changing I just don’t know that it will happen this year. I also know that my parents said that they could probably take the trip next week. It is funny, they sent me and my sister on a cruise back in 2004 or 2005 and they have never been. The main reason I think is because they can’t swim but I mean on a cruise- if you end up in the water… you are in trouble whether you know how to swim or not right?

Anyways, this is my rambling… not a whole lot of thoughts going on just waiting things out. Next week is the last week before Fall Break so… I am excited about that. My cousin was given today to live so I may have to go to a funeral. I am not ready to talk about all that but I know that she is in God’s hands and his will will be done.

Well, happy Saturday to everyone and don’t forget the new rule- if you read then at least drop a line and comment on something… even if it is just to say one word- Funny! Especially you friends!

Love you all!