Living Life as Jayden's Mommy….

Yes, it has finally hit me… I am very tired.

I am tired of not fitting my clothes, wearing the same thing over and over again, going to work sick and tired, sleep deprivation, heartburn, indigestion, puking, not sleeping on my tummy, waking up in the middle of the night, bad dreams, bathroom breaks every 2 hours, bladder infections, people staring, not being able to go far, not being able to bend over, backaches, and going to the dr. so daggum often…

Ok now that I have all that off my chest. I am thankful for God, my hubby, my baby, my family, my job, my friends, and all the blessings God has bestowed upon me!

That is all… there isn’t anymore…

It is the weekend and I was ready all week to sleep in and lay around. My son however has decided to jam something in his Mom’s back and ribs so it hurts to sit, stand, bend over, and just be awake. The pain also keeps me from sleeping… it just sucks! I am glad to be pregnant but I am ready for lil’ bit to be out of there. He is a precious little thing!

Ok so… my Mom said we could go buy me some stuff… I am soooo excited! I want my new stuff. I also need to do thank you cards… So much to do and so little time…. oh well… what gets done gets done and then what doesn’t will just have to wait until later.

Now I am going to watch a movie- 50 year old woman is pregnant… my favorite actress, Patty Duke, is in it and I can’t fathom such a late pregnancy!

I say that because I am encouraged… listening to my favorite Christian Cd (even though it is a bootleg copy that I made… he he) I can honestly say that I know God has a plan. Song #1 says “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.” I believe that… and have seen it play out which is even more awesome. Then song #2 is Bebe and Cece (all you that listen to African American gospel know I am talking about the Winans- love them!) and it is old school but “Addicted Love” is the bomb and I can sing it all the way through….

Ok so I got an e-mail from my cuz today about a cute little story… I won’t post the story but essentially this was the caption at the end and I felt encouraged enough to share it with every one of my readers:

Philppians 4:13 — I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called
Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success.

Is that not just awesome?

Ok now for real talk… I am 29 weeks today.. I thought this day would come much later for some reason. I go to the doc again for a sugar check on Friday. I am very antsy about what will become of me… birth, working situation, living situation, etc. I did talk to my Mom and figured out that if we continue to live where we are (hubby and I) we could live on savings and him working and I could stay at home if that is what we want to do. I was soooo against it and as time marches on I am feeling it more. I feel I need a break from the classroom. Then again I am eager to spend the summer taking care of my little one as many mommies tell me that they were eager to head back to work so that they could get a break. I am also concerned about the birthing process. Now I have 2 fibroids and although the doc said he had plenty of room, I feel sorry for Jayden having to share me with them! (Spoken like a true Mommy). I think I am going to buy my stuff from Target next week- at least the travel system anyways. My mom is buying the bassinet thing I picked out and I think my sis is buying the bouncy seat thing or something. Then of course with 2 Godmommies that are extremely excited and a future Goddaddy- Jayden will be ready and met with love! Ok so I am nervous about birth… I pray that it lasts a little while, I get an epidural (sp?) and then have the baby naturally. I don’t want a C-section because I want to walk out of the hospital. I am open to having more children as this pregnancy has not been the easiest but not so bad that I don’t want to go through it again… *sigh* and next time we hope for an Ashlynne Nechele and then this Mommy will be done!

Well thanks for listening. I am antsy… I snap at students a lot and then of course the class chorus now is “She is pregnant!” And I always add, “yeah, I am pregnant!” It is almost a joke but they know I enjoy them it is just getting difficult. My emotions are up and down and I have to be careful who I talk to and when because I can’t really be there for them like I once was… in other words it is my turn to be selfish! Very seldom do I want to hear about anyone else’s issues… I want to say my stuff… may or may not want feedback and then I want to go to sleep. I have told hubby once or twice that I just want him to listen and don’t offer an opinion… he laughed in shock but listened as I reminded him that I am pregnant and need his support!

I am stopping now before I get too caught up. If you care to add a comment, please do… until next time America…lol…

That is all….. there isn’t anymore…

My hubby has composed a song called “It’s All Right”… it is actually a song that you can ride to, swing to, or just play and work. It is sooo awesome and relaxing. There are no words currently and if I could play it for you all I would but we hope that the single will be available by the end of the summer on itunes or something. It is soooo good. Smidgen and I have discussed ways to get it out and about so that was exciting too…

The week was rough. I have decided that even moreso now I want to move to AL. I was complacent in FL and then God decided to allow the devil to stir some things up. Let’s just say when people change positions, new people come in and things just change. As a teacher, schools are getting worse before they get better. I do feel I am called to teach. I acknowledge that… but who says that I can’t do it somewhere else? Or in a different environment? Hmmm… so I am praying specifically now for a new position at a high or middle school that is considered a “good school” where students and parents respect teachers. I would also like to have one class (one lesson plan), no more than 2 different classes and then maybe 6 periods a day or less. I am not big on block schedule but it will do. I would also like to have no duty. If I do have duty, I would like to have no lunch duty. I would also like to see $9,000 pay increase (or a little less) and cheap family monthly insurance (like $300) and good benefits. I would also like to love my coworkers and find some really good friends that I share a common bond with. A school and school system that understands teachers need supplies and support of the administration. I also hope that money issues are not too bad! Now talk about specifics- I think I have it covered! So there you have it my prayer…

I decided against Bless Your Heart this week simply because it is just too personal right now. I am tired of people thinking the world revolves around them… duh- my world revolves around me, lol… anyways… it was a good week spent with hubby so it all worked out in the end. I do have a few students who are soooo sweet and are truly at school to learn about life and get ready for the real world. I feel sorry for the kids who parents always jump up and in to handle small issues- it teaches the kids nothing in the long run. Accept your wrongdoings- do better and move on!

Ok so it is late and I will make this short and sweet. Today was a rough day for me at work. The summary- you try to be nice to students and parents and allow for extra activities and it is unappreciated… so now what? You stop being nice and just be mean!

Anyways, I talked to my sister and she was sweet. I know she didn’t really care because her situation is completely different but she listened and stood up for me as did all of my friends that I yacked to this afternoon, Mrs. T, my cousin and next door neighbor at work, and my smidgen and even hubby! Nevertheless she is having her own issues with her boss. I guess the boss just doesn’t like her. It is weird I don’t get why everyone loves my little sis but they do. And this lady is out to get her… so… when we talked she told me how excited she was about a new position she is applying for. She said that God has it set up. She wanted to leave her 1st job, got turned down for several positions in that organization and finally moved to this one- she hates it! She is now wanting to move to another one and it turns out her one friend at her current job has moved to this new place and God has set it up so that she is meeting all of these people in power over there. She is applying for a job and the guy that currently has it is from our hometown!!! How strange is that??? It is totally awesome because she has met her new bosses and some of her coworkers and is making sure they get that name/face recognition downpat. I told her that God was awesome.

He has plans for all of us. He planned for her to be in this new place and she wanted to move to her current job so bad that he allowed it… only to let her know that it was not for her. But he had to make her see and understand that it was not about her. Plus he had to let her get mad so she would apply elsewhere. Now he is teaching us both patience and gratefulness…. and appreciation… so… I am now praying for me and my little sister. I have no doubt she will get it though. It all comes to her… it just does!

Ok so that is my thing… God has it under control and in all of the mess there is purpose period.

I have a feeling that my life will be drastically different in a few years (3). I will have a baby, a nice home, may or may not have a job but I am almost positive that money will not be an issue and I will be in my Tahoe leading up to my Escalade (that was for hubby). It will be. Then I will be blogging about the goodness of God some more and thinking back to what had to be gone through to get there… Be encouraged all….

That is all, there isn’t anymore ———— from the Grinch that Stole Christmas

Ok I am totally paranoid. I am having horrible dreams… in most of them crazy stuff is happening and I am not pregnant nor do I have a child. Then I wake up glad to see that I am still pregnant. Who knew having a *huge* tummy would be a relief. I am trying to stay off my back… but here recently I wake up on my back… well I am a little propped up from all the pillows! I am in a daybed and have 3 full pillows and 1 tavel pillow surrounding my body… it is wonderful!

Ok so back to the paranoid thing. A young lady died recently in our little town because her baby had died inside of her and she apparently was unaware. Then.. it poisioned her and she died! I mean talk about tragedy. Then I found out that 2 people I went to high school with- one of which I consider a friend somewhat because when you are best friends in 6th grade and still call somebody’s Grandma- Grandma… well I think that just holds out. Anyways- TWO young ladies… well they are a little older than me but you know class of 99 is awesome.. lol. But really- yes 2 of them discovered that they had to terminate their pregnancies at 5 months. I also have a Mama that had a non-full term pregnancy/ miscarriage AND my cousin just had one at freakin’ 6 months. Talk about needing some prayer and good talking to… I am in desperate need. *Sigh- in case you missed that hint Smidgen- yes that was ABSOLUTELY directed towards you as I swoon in and out of depression and anxiety*

I was reading a blog the other day where people could *BLESS* others when they say or do something that “runs all over you.” I have a TON so I will add these every now and then and in the spirit of sevenchicks I will add “Bless their heart” behind the statement.

The Blessing for the Day:

* You can’t understand why I don’t want to be around someone at an outing, kids’ birthday party, or housewarming? Well how about I just don’t want to be around them and I am grown and can make such decisions. Oh you think that is dictating my life… BLESS YOUR HEART!

*You think that life is going to change drastically for me when I have a baby and I am not going to be able to go out to eat, shop on ebay, get new clothes, or buy a home this year even though my household income is significantly more than yours? ….BLESS YOUR HEART!

*You can’t understand why I get depressed because you THINK that you can manage to live the way I live and hold it all together all the freakin’ time?… BLESS YOUR HEART!

*Oh you think teaching is soooo easy just because I get off at 3 and have summers off? BLESS YOUR HEART!

*You think it is crazy that I am so close to my college friends even though we all live a good bit away and don’t get the chance to talk until every blue moon… BLESS YOUR HEART!

Ok so that is it. I am having a pretty good day. I am off work and I am about to file my income tax. I do suggest that all those who can, go through H&R Block- I have used it since 2003 and it is great! You get your check in 2 weeks!

My cousin sent this to me and it made me count my blessings… thought I would share….

Ever wake up and don’t want to get out of bed?
Ever fall asleep wondering how you made it through another day?
Ever spend an evening alone thinking how you can be where you are today?
Ever wonder why the chic down the street acts like a tramp but is married and you’re not?
Ever think about how someone else’s child seems to be on the right path and
 yours acts like they have lost their mind?
Ever wonder why your finances are always messed up and you can never see light at the end of the tunnel? Ever wonder why Ms Thang next door is so cute and fine and you have a hard time staying away from the table and keeping ten pounds off?
Ever think about why your husband seems to be the only one in  your circle of friends that still hasn’t gotten himself together?
Ever wonder why you’re still single?
Ever wonder why the person you love doesn’t love you back? 
The answer all of these questions could have me writing for  days.                                                   But, if any of these are you, the Holy Spirit sent me by this morning to give you some extra fuel. 
You wake up and keep going because God has a plan for you (Jer 29:11).

You make it day by day because God ain’t through with you yet.
You’re alone or single because God is doing some things in you. Don’t get it twisted!                        It’s not that he “just hasn’t found you;” it’s also because if he did find you,
 you wouldn’t be ready! God is perfecting some things within you.                                           Stop looking around thinking it’s the other person. Nope! It’s you!
There may be something wrong with them, but before you hook up, God wants to get some things right with you!
So, stop looking around wondering why God seems to be passing out blessings, but for some reason He passed your door! God passed your door on purpose. Don’t talk about other people’s glory, cuz you don’t  know their story! You don’t know why the tramp down the street is married. You don’t know how she got her man, and you don’t know what she’s going through to keep him! Remember, the bible says, the wealth of the wicked is laid up for the righteous! My brother, my sister, that’s YOU! We are so quick to look at what God is doing in others. We have to learn to pay more attention to what God is doing in self. I know, it’s hard…because the truth is, you think you have it all together. You think you’re ok! With a few adjustments, and you’ll be ahead of your game! Think again…those few adjustments are just  the areas that God needs to fix before He moves you forward. Do the Godly things “in spite of” that disobedient child, and/or dishonorable husband, and watch them watch you as God fix the  situation. You are the change agent! As they see the change in you, they’ll be inspired to move! Fuel is what you need. Yes, you need fuel to be what God has you to be.
 Well, did you stop by the fuel station? The church? That’s where your main source of fuel comes from. If not, be not dismayed, God is so awesome, that He sent fuel right to your front door in the form of an email.
He’s awesome like that! He knew just what you’d need, when you need it!                                      This is your fuel for today. Don’t keep it to yourself, pass it on! Gas is high!
 Don’t be stingy; God is getting ready to work.
 Give this fuel in the form of action to you, then your children,  husband,coworkers, whoever may need it! Pass it on! God gave it  to you, so that you might give it to others. Go ahead, don’t be afraid…remember,
 if He did it for you, He’ll do it for us ALL!
 

Pass it on!

Yes, I think it is here…. the time when I start showing. I at first thought it was a figment of my imagination that my “innie” bellybutton looked like it was trying to escape from my tummy. But as time progresses, I am finding myself slipping my pants on more under my stomach than on it. I wore some of my favorite pants (well they used to be because they were Limited and just fit me perfectly!) and they were tight so I tried to be creative. I wore a bright green turtleneck with some brownish pants and then a black shirt that fit over my butt to hide it. It didn’t look bad and I thought Stacy and Clinton might approve… (What Not To Wear Gang!) Anyways, my Mother kindly pointed out (after my intense thought processing about this whole thing) that my pants were tight and that I might need to go ahead and start looking at buying some bigger clothes. I am only 12 weeks and some change… so I was like… uh… I am going to wait some more.

I really just have no desire to shop! (Don’t worry smidgen doc’s say that it occasionally occurs with those who were once diagnosed as shopaholics) It is also good because I am able to save so much but I am excited about buying baby stuff. As SOON as I find out what I am having I am going shopping, hubby said it was cool and will be supplementing my shopping money too! Whooooohooooooo! Anyways, I don’t care what anyone thinks about me shopping early. It is my 1st child and I am excited! It kind of ticks me off when people say not to shop until you have lost all your weight.. you can shop in the process- it is part of being excited. I shopped a year before my wedding and a year before my move to go to college so I am going to buy what I want and be happy. I do have several friends who are ready to buy too. We are ONLY waiting on a sex. So either way, Miss Ashlynne or Mr. Jaden will be well taken care of!

Not much is going on in life. I am pretty sure I will remain at my job through the end of the year just because I am now a preggar and no one hires pregnant women. It is cool though because I know what I am doing, how to do it, and why I am doing it and now can do it in my sleep.

Oh and did anyone else hear that Jeb Bush may be running for the Fl Senate??? What the heck??? He is a fool! He ruined our money and I am thinking heck no to him as governor, senator or any other position. Why can’t he go back to TX, take care of his family, bask in the oil money they have made, and leave FL alone??? Why is this too much to ask? Why??? Ugh… the sad thing is FL may be stupid enough to put him up there but I don’t see him helping me out personally so I am thinking nope!

I also found out that my friend, sexychocolate is getting her own place in Tally. I am sooo excited. Not only will my little one have somewhere to spend the weekend but she/he can go see Auntie and Godmama2 as well. Yes, right now… I am at several godmothers. It is okay. You can never have too many. So much love!

Well I am ready for Christmas break… we get out Dec. 19th at 1:00. I am giving exams before then so I will have my grades ready when we come back and I am already working on the schedule through May so I am feeling confident. I am very blessed and just pray that God continues to have mercy on me and mine.

Ok, that is all. Here are some Thanksgiving pics… courtesy of “San”… I am showing a little but not much.

This is the 1st pic of me… so perhaps more will follow….

Happy Thanksgiving!

Papa's favorite girls!

A little birdie shared a cute story…

The birdie said that a certain young woman attempted to fix her own eyebrows. She shaved them off and wanted to draw them back on. In light of the idea that she might get her face wet, she wanted to make sure that they did not disappear. So in her brilliance- she decided to draw them on with black fingernail polish. She said it looked a hot mess later but about that time I was on the floor rolling laughing so I just didn’t care. Who would ever think to use black fingernail polish on one’s face???

Some good news about buying homes. My cousin works for HSBC and knows all about the mortgage stuff. He essentially gave us the thumbs up for the mortgage from FHA and the interest rate and the financing and the tax credit. I am soooo excited. I am going to be  a homeowner soon. I totally have been saving money this month and plan to continue. I am more motivated now then ever!

Hubby has his own band- soooo awesome… I expect them to drop an album and start traveling soon. I am also considering going back to school and maybe getting a specialist degree in Instructional Design… sounds interesting enough. I am not really interested in a PH.D. at the moment even though Hubby is bound and determined that I am going to get one.

Well today was cool- Mom is sick but hubby was here 1/2 the day so that made it nicer. Cousin and sister came and we all talked about serious stuff. I am going to spend some time tomorrow after church talking to another cousin and mapping out how we want to deal with Papa’s property. With property out in the country it might be useful to think about putting a little community out there and then a family home too.

Anywho it has been a good weekend that has gone too fast as usual. I am still looking for another position and still waiting to hear about my certification and jobs in my new area… ugh! At least my besties have great positions. My friend that was making a little of nothing will now be rolling in the $ at her new position in one of my favorite little towns. Since she got her blessing I know mine is right around the corner again so… good things are coming… stay tuned!

Oh and one last hit on the politics… just to let everyone know… I do not support abortion. On the contrary I am all about Roe v. Wade which most people don’t even know what is says exactly. It states that essentially from 0-6 months the Mom can decide what to do as in termination of a pregnancy. In the 2nd trimester, a woman can essentially decide to abort but the state can mandate counseling and only certain areas in which the action could occur. Abortion is wrong. Yes, I agree. Do I think it is the government’s job to mandate that one cannot have one? Heck no. The more power you give the government the less control we have to make our own decisions. Perhaps in due time those decisions may boil down to acting out Christian duties. But if we are going to let the government regulate morality let’s go all the way. Fornication (sex before marriage) is wrong. The government might alleviate a lot of issues and problems if we just start punishing people for not following the cardinal rule of wait until you are married. So is that going to far? If so why? If you are going to start letting the govt police the marital bedroom you are only opening yourself and the rest of society to hardship and problems later.